As I said, when I posted the photo, I was proud to do so. A couple days later I was looking at the photo again, and all I could see was my big belly hanging over my belt and was disgusted. I decided that I was going to start eating better and try to lose some weight. If you pay any attention to the BMI charts, which I don't, I probably need to lose between 50-60 pounds. As much as I would like to lose close to that much, I would be ecstatic if I could lose between 30-40 pounds.
In the past, when I put my mind to it, I can stick to an eating plan fairly well. When I am following the plan, I often do not feel like I am depriving myself of anything. Once, I followed the SugarBusters program by cutting out all white sugar and flour. I was able to stick with it for several months and lost about 30 pounds. It is only after I stopped following a program that I have problems. Once I start eating the bad stuff again, when I try to get back with the program that I start to feel deprived.
So, two weeks ago, I stepped on the scale and weighed more than I ever had in the past. That day, I decided to cut out a lot of the junk food that I had been eating. I started packing my lunch and some snacks to have during the day. Lunch basically became a salad, and for snacks I would have some fruit or maybe a protein bar. Things have been going pretty good so far in sticking with the plan.
The problem comes with my job. My position is a buyer for candy and snacks for the company I work for. There is constantly candy or junk food around the office. The other day, a vendor sent in some samples of some dessert items that he wanted us to consider, some cheesecakes and other cakes. Some of my favorites. As part of my job, we were sampling some of the items. I had a piece of the cheesecake, then tried to go about my day. I don't know if was that bit of decadence back in the diet, but for the rest of the day I craved junk food. It made me think I had an addictive personality.
It made me think about other areas of my life. I don't really think that I am "addicted" to anything, but I see patterns. Take alcohol for instance. I can go weeks without having any alcohol to drink and not miss it. However, if I have it in the house, I will drink it, probably more than I should. The same with certain foods and even fairly innocuous things like playing games on Facebook. They aren't even all that fun, but I find myself playing two or three of them every night.
I am going to start taking a closer look at some of my habits and hobbies. It isn't that any of them are particularly bad, but it just seems like I have a difficult time doing things in moderation. I can't seem to stop at a bowl of ice cream, I have to have the whole pint. It isn't just a couple glasses of wine, but four or five. Instead of going to bed at 10pm, I spend an extra hour on Facebook games or doing blogging stuff. Time to get some balance back.
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