Confirmation Day Update

Last week, we went to our son's school for his Confirmation in the Catholic Church.  As I mentioned in my post last Sunday, I was extremely proud of how well he has done in church and how much he has grown.  We were very grateful for the work that the lady who conducted the classes did for my son and the other kids that had their Confirmations that day.

This week, we received a card with a handwritten note from the woman that conducted the classes.  This is what she wrote:

I want to take this opportunity to say thank you for giving me the privilege of preparing your son for First Communion and Confirmation.  He did an excellent job and you can be very proud of him.

I was blown away.  Here, we should have been expressing our gratitude (which we did) for her hard work and she was writing to us to thank us for letting her prepare our son for the sacraments.  This type of attitude goes to further enforce in our hearts and mind that our son is in the right place.  The people there really do care about the kids and make an impact in improving their lives.

Confirmation Day

There are some days when you just can't help but be proud of your kids and want to brag on them a little.  Today happens to be one of those days.  We went out to my son's school to celebrate the sacrament of his Confirmation in the Catholic Church.  Aside from the obvious significance of the event, it also served to show us just how much our son has grown since we made the decision to send him away for school.

When our son was younger, we tried taking him to churches whenever we had a wedding to attend or a cousin was having First Communion or Confirmation.  His behavior during those attempts was, in a word, atrocious.  More often than not, my wife or I would have to take him out of the sanctuary into the vestibule so that his outbursts would not disturb the others in the service.

When the school first approached us about our son going through the classes that they gave for First Communion and Confirmation.  We were concerned about his past behavior and whether or not he would understand what was going on.  I still don't know if he fully understands the significance of the sacraments, but his behavior during church has been exemplary.  He really enjoy going to church.

The thing I like about attending the mass at the chapel in his school is that they tailor the homily to the special needs kids in attendance.  The priest reads the gospel to them like he is reading a bedtime story to the kids.  He then gives a very short homily, again as if he is telling the kids a story.  It allows the kids to not get bored while listening to the sermon.

My son, really likes the priest that they have at the school.  Whenever he sees Father Paul, his face lights up in a big smile and he says, "It's Father!"  Father Paul always comes over to my son and greets him with a fist bump.  I think it is pretty cool.

Today, while watching my son during the service, I was struck by how well he did.  Whenever the priest did the sign of the cross, I saw my son crossing himself.  During prayer, he placed his hands together in the typical prayer position.  During the songs, he often started to dance a little.  I think of King David dancing before the LORD.  More importantly, throughout the whole service, he did not break into any of his ritual word games that he likes to do with us.

For the Confirmation sacrament service, the local Bishop officiates the mass.  Father Paul still read the gospel reading to the kids.  The Bishop also has a background in dealing with special needs kids and did an excellent job of giving a nice homily for the kids.

Prior to the start of the service, the Bishop spoke to my son.  My son was particularly taken with the crucifix around the Bishop's neck.

Here, my son gets anointed by the Bishop.

All in all, it was a wonderful day.  I am so proud of what he has accomplished so far at the school and how much he enjoys attending their church services.  Of course, afterward we had to take a drive to the Golden Corral for lunch and then to Target to get a new CD player and CD.

First Communion and Memorial Day

I mentioned on Saturday that it was a big day for our family.  It was our son's First Communion at the school he is attending.  I don't think it could have possibly gone any better, though there were a few potential moments.

The First Communion was scheduled to begin at 4pm, but my wife and I were to get there around 3:30 to meet with the folks that helped my son prepare for Communion.  When we got there, the person we were to meet with was not at the chapel.  I headed up to the dorms to tell the dorm personnel that we were going to take our son out to dinner after his First Communion.  As it turns out, that is where I found the lady we were to meet with.

Unfortunately, nobody had told the dorm worker that my son was going to have First Communion, so she allowed him to take a little nap on the couch in the rec room.  They were trying to wake him up to get him ready but he wasn't cooperating.  Like a lot of us, he gets a little cranky when you wake him up.  I walked in and told him we needed to get ready for church, but he told me he didn't want to go.  I told him that if he went to church and had First Communion that we would take him to Golden Corral for dinner and had a surprise for him.  It worked.

I helped him get dressed and we headed down to the chapel.  We were still pretty early for the service, so we were pretty much the only ones around.  When the priest showed up, my son's eyes lit up and he smiled and said, "It's Father!"  He greeted all of our relatives that showed up and waited patiently.  When the head nun showed up he said "It's Sister Jeanette."  We went over and said hello to her and she told us he had been attending church regularly and was very well behaved.  That is a far cry from the first couple conversations we had with her when he first started to attend the school.

During the service he stayed pretty quiet.  He fidgeted a little now and then.  There were a couple times when he put his head on my shoulders and wanted me to stroke his head or his hands.  When it came time for him to take Communion from the priest, he hesitated at first, but took it with some encouragement.  He then said "just one more time" which got a laugh from everyone.  I know that is something he often says when you get him to do something that he doesn't want to do and are trying to get him to do it again.

After the service, we took several pictures.  He received a number of cards and money as a gift for his First Communion.  He got enough money to cover half the cost of a new basic computer for when he comes home from school for the Memorial Day weekend tomorrow.  As promised, we took him to Golden Corral for dinner after the service.  This was the first time that we had attempted to take him off campus for a visit. I was a little concerned that we would have a difficult time getting him back in the car, but there were no issues at all.

Another concern was whether or not he would eat the same variety of food with us that he has been eating at school for the past few weeks.  The concern was short lived.  He told me that he wanted chicken, ribs, potatoes, and corn.  They didn't have ribs, but I got him a plate of bourbon chicken, pot roast, corn, mashed potatoes, and fried rice.  He ate it all.  In fact, he ate a total of three big plates of food.  He also ate some sesame chicken and another style of roast beef with gravy.  The school nurse also emailed us today to tell us that he ate ice cream at school.  Another new food.

We are looking forward to our long weekend home for Memorial Day weekend.  We have plans to attend a couple of Bowie Baysox games on Sunday and Monday.  Who knows?  Maybe he will even go so far as to have a hot dog or two at the ball park.  All I know is that every day we are more and more certain that we made the right choice in having him go away to school, as difficult a choice as it was at the time.

First Communion

Today is going to be kind of a big day for our family.  Later this afternoon, we will be heading out to my son's school to attend his First Communion.  18 years old is a little older that is typical for a child to go through First Communion, but with my son's developmental delays we seriously doubted that anything like this would ever take place for him.

Over the years, we have tried to take my son to attend weddings, First Communions, Christenings, and other events for family members that have taken place in churches.  With his disabilities has come a number of behavioral issues that have led him to be disruptive.  Often, one of us would have to sit out in the vestibule while the other sat in the sanctuary to observe the occasion.

When my wife and I got married, I was not active in any church.  My wife was raised Roman Catholic, but converted to Mormonism a few years back.  When our son was born, he was Christened in the Catholic Church, but we never really attended church.  With our own lack of participation and his behavior issues, we never thought we would see this day.

There have been times when we have been able to keep him occupied and quiet for such occasions.  Unfortunately, it often required that we allow him to sit with his CD player, listening to music with his headphones on.  We were also able to get him to keep his constant speaking at a whisper so as not to disturb others at the occasion.

The school my son attends is a special needs residential school on the Eastern Shore that was established by a group of Benedictine nuns.  When they first asked us a few months ago whether or not we would want for them to have our son prepare for First Communion and Confirmation, we were unsure as to how he would take to it.  Reports from the woman running the class have been glowing.

My wife had to go out to the school to take my son his medications.  When she talked to him, he was excited to talk about events that were coming up; his First Communion and his upcoming long weekend home during the Memorial Day weekend.  He also gave her a kiss without any prompting, which is something he normally does not do.  We usually have to ask for kisses from him.

The past month since his 18th birthday have been among the most encouraging since he has been at the school.  His diet has improved dramatically.  Previously, he would only eat chicken and some salty snacks.  Now he is eating peas & carrots, peaches, mashed potatoes, pizza, and just about anything they put in front of him.  It is further confirmation that we made the right choice in sending him away to school.