A Not so Happy Mother's Day

Bowie Baysox (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Here is hoping that everybody had a very happy Mother's Day.  I would like to say that ours was spectacular, but unfortunately that is not the case.

The day started off well enough.  My wife got up with me early and we went to my new church.  After church we went to do the grocery shopping before we started our primary plans for the day.  Our plan was to pick up our son at school and take him to a Bowie Baysox game instead of our usual visit of taking him to Golden Corral for lunch.

The visit started our well enough.  We picked him up, and he was excited about going to the game.  We got to the stadium, and he wanted a hamburger and french fries for lunch.  He enjoyed the game, but unfortunately our Bowie Baysox lost the game.  When it was time to leave, we stopped by the restroom before starting our drive back to his dorm.

That is when our troubles began.  After my son finished urinating, he announced that he didn't want to go back to school and dropped to the ground in the men's room.  Thankfully, another gentleman asked me if I needed help with him, and I had him go to the first aid station to see if they could help.  He called one of the park policeman working security for assistance.

The three of us tried to calm my son down.  We even tried to get my son into a wheelchair to try to take him out to our car.  Eventually, we had to call the fire department and have them send out a crew with a stretcher to try to get him out to the car.  I got him to walk out of the restroom, but he dropped again.  At that point, the security officer, two paramedics and I carried him out to the car.

Once we got him to the car, he got up on his own and climbed into his seat in the car.  We then headed back to school without incident.  Once we got back to school, he ate the dinner that the had for him.  While we were there, they showed us the technique they use for getting him up when he drops.  I hope we never have to use it, but it was good info to know for the future.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mothers Day #family #fam #mom #dad #TagsForLikes #brother #sister #brothers #sisters #bro #sis #siblings #love #instagood #father #mother #related #fun #photooftheday #children #kids #life #happy #familytime #cute #smile #fun via dickster1961

First off, I want to wish all of the Moms out there a very happy Mother's Day.  This morning, we got up early and I drove my wife out to my son's school on the Eastern Shore so that she could have lunch with our boy on Mother's Day.  We decided to just have a little visit with him on campus.  We had a pizza delivered and after lunch we walked around campus and spent some time on the playground.  He was more interested in going back into the dorm to watch some DVDs that I had burned and brought for him.

That was not our original plan for Mother's Day, nor is it our usual routine when visiting our son.  Our original plan for Mother's Day was to pick up our son for an unscheduled weekend home and to take him to a Bowie Baysox game today, then drive him back to school.  Normally, when we visit our son, we take him off campus for lunch at Golden Corral and then either to Target or Walmart to get a new CD or DVD.

To explain why we changed our original plans and normal routine, we had to go back one week to our last visit with our son.  It started like several successful visits of late.  We picked up our son shortly after 11:00 and headed out to the Golden Corral in Easton, MD.  He ate three plates of his favorite foods from Golden Corral; pot roast, bourbon chicken, mashed potatoes, and macaroni & cheese.  So far, it was the start of a very pleasant visit.

After lunch, we got back in the car and headed to Target.  Once there, my son headed straight to the back of the store to the music department to find a CD or DVD.  He walked up and down each aisle looking for something, but just couldn't find anything that he wanted.  With my son's autism, even though he is very verbal, he sometimes has a difficult time telling us what he wants when he can't find it.  That is when things took a decided turn for the worse.

One of my son's undesirable behaviors is one we refer to as dropping.  If he doesn't want to do something, or is upset for some reason, he will drop to the ground, make himself dead weight, and refuse to get up.  When he drops, it can last for a few moments, or in some cases quite a long time.  This particular incident was one of the longer ones.  We spent over two hours trying to calm our son down, figure out what he wanted, and get him back to school.

We tried singing to him, stroking his hands, bringing him CDs and DVDs of acts that he has enjoyed in the past.  Nothing worked.  We got a few smiles and responses but we just couldn't get him off the floor.  At one point, we called the school to see if they could send somebody out to try to help get him back.  At long last, my wife came back to where we were with something that got our son off of the ground.

One of the things that my son likes to watch is, of all things, infomercials.  He particularly likes the ones that feature vacuum cleaners.  My wife came back with an inexpensive, rechargeable portable Dirt Devil.  That did the trick.  He got up, grabbed the vacuum, and headed to the front of the store just as the back up from the school showed up to help.  Now, he has his own personal vacuum in his dorm.

After an incident like this, it usually takes us a little while before we try to venture back out.  We were very hesitant to bring him home for the weekend for fear of a repeat performance at the stadium.  We were also very hesitant to try our usual routine of lunch at Golden Corral.  As it turned out, we had a nice little lunch and visit on campus, and he was in a great mood when we left.

Back From the Beach

Yesterday, we ended our vacation at the beach.  My son was on his summer break which began on August 2nd and was to return back to school yesterday.  So, our plan was to schedule our annual trip to Ocean City MD around his return to school yesterday.  The vacation itself was rather nice, but yesterday was another story entirely.

My son had been really looking forward to this vacation.  All summer long, he would ask us, "Where are we going in August?"  That was his way of prompting us to ask him that question so that he could respond "Ocean City."  All he could talk about was going to play miniature golf at Maui Golf and wanting to eat at Hooter's restaurant on the boardwalk.

We headed out to the beach on Thursday morning and got to the beach that afternoon.  After unpacking our things, we headed out to the boardwalk.  My wife was hobbled by a bit of a sprained ankle, so it took us about half an hour to walk the boardwalk to have lunch at Hooter's.  My son enjoyed his usual fare of hot boneless buffalo wings and curly fries.

After lunch, we did not have time to get a round of miniature golf.  We had to hit the grocery store to pick up some food supplies.  Another tradition that we have when we head out to the beach is to also attend some Delmarva Shorebirds games.  Thursday night was hat night at the stadium and my son wanted to go.  There was a fairly long line to get into the stadium.  My son, fortunately, got the last hat given out to our line and the rest of us were out of luck.  With the long drive, everybody was pretty worn out and we only made it through half of the game before we headed back to the trailer.

The next morning was a beautiful day.  We got out fairly early and headed out to Maui golf for some miniature golf.  Originally, my son told me he wanted to play two rounds of golf, which was fine with me.  At Maui golf, you pay once and can golf as much as you want before 6pm.  It took us about a half hour to play our first round of golf.  I was all set to get two more balls and play again, but my son decided that he didn't want to play again. We went ahead and got wrist bands just in case he decided he wanted to play again later.  Unfortunately, he did not want to play any more that day, or at all the rest of the week.  It was kind of surprising and a bit disappointing as he talked all summer long about playing Maui Golf.  Such is life.

The weather all week was about as perfect as it could have been.  Temperatures were in the low 80's and sunny.  We got to go to two more Shorebirds games on Friday and Saturday nights, both of which featured fireworks.  My wife was not up for going to Saturday night's game but my son was set on going, so we had a nice father-son night at the game.  We also managed to get in a few meals while we were out there.  Another staple for us is to get pit beef sandwiches at Bull on the Beach.  It was a bad few days at the beach for me diet wise as I gained a few pounds back that I had lost.  Back on the wagon today.

Sunday night, my son started getting anxious.  While we had not talked at all about taking him back to school on Monday, he must have known.  He was starting to get awfully cranky.  Monday morning, we wanted to go out for breakfast to the Little House of Pancakes and Ribs so my son could have some bacon and pancakes.  We also wanted to hit the boardwalk one last time to get some more Fisher's Popcorn.  Unfortunately, he would have none of it.  It was over two hours of him hitting and kicking my wife and I along with dropping down to the floor.

Eventually, we were able to get him off of the floor and into the car.  By this time, any thoughts of going out to breakfast or the boardwalk were out of the question.  Instead, we headed out to our final destination.  Originally, we had considered stopping at the Golden Corral in Easton MD for lunch, but again we decided it was better to not take a chance on having one of his behavior meltdowns there.

Once we got him to school he was fine.  He got out of the car and headed to his classroom.  While we were saying our goodbyes, he started asking "Where are we going in October," which happens to be his next break.  He already knew his next break on the calendar.  In fact, he knew the exact date of October 11th.  One day back and he is already looking forward to his next break.  Typical teenager.  

Sunday Trip to Golden Corral

English: Golden Corral restaurant at 3800 North Roxboro Street in Durham, North Carolina. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today, we decided that we were going to go out to visit my son at his school.  Now that he is eating a much wider variety of foods, he is doing so much better and putting some weight back on.  With his improved diet, one of his favorite places to go eat is the Golden Corral for their buffet.  We can count on him eating a couple of big plates of foods.  Today was no exception.

I have long suspected that there are certain people who work in my son's dorm that have a lot more difficulty in dealing with some of his behavioral issues than others.  I have felt that rather than alleviate some of his difficulties, they tend to exacerbate the situation.  I do believe that it is important that he learn to behave properly with all of those he comes in contact with, however, I also think that they should learn the best ways of helping him get through difficult times.

My suspicions were somewhat confirmed when I called to check up on him a few days ago.  The lady I happened to speak with was one of those that my son really responds well to.  She was telling me that she almost never has any difficulty getting my son to behave and have a good day.  We did have a discussion about one of the other ladies that I have suspected has a little more of a difficult time with my son.  Turns out, she thinks the other lady has a bit of a personality conflict with my son.  Often when I have spoken with this second person, she has reported that my son has had a difficult time.

The day when my son usually has his most difficult days is on Sundays.  Frequently, the person who he gets along with (lady #1) is off that day.  The one he doesn't get along with (lady #2) is usually one of the ones that work on Sunday.  Often, we have shown up on a Sunday and my son has been having a difficult time.  He has been non-compliant and often is crying. Today, however, he was in a pretty good mood and participating in activities when we walked in.  I think primarily because lady #1 was working, and he knew we were coming.

In my conversation with lady #1 earlier in the week, she probably revealed a little more than she should have regarding lady #2.  She had me that she has tried to tell #2 ways that she could get my son to respond better.  For example, my son loves to listen to his music.  Lady #1 lets him have it as long as he behaves.  Lady #2, on the other hand, takes his music away and tries to force compliance first before allowing him to have music.  Method #1 is far more effective.  Lady #1 did tell me that she had heard that lady #2 will be dealing less regularly with my son.  

Today, lady #2 was around the building but not in the area that my son was in.  I do not know if that will be a permanent change, but if it helps him to do better then I am all for the change.  We will be going back out for another visit in two weeks when it is time for the annual Chrome City Ride at the school.  Hopefully, between now and then my son will have some better days.  The past week has been a difficult one for him at school and in the dorm.  We have told lady #1 that she needs to work with him 24/7 with no days off.  After all, we only want what is best for our son.

First Communion and Memorial Day

I mentioned on Saturday that it was a big day for our family.  It was our son's First Communion at the school he is attending.  I don't think it could have possibly gone any better, though there were a few potential moments.

The First Communion was scheduled to begin at 4pm, but my wife and I were to get there around 3:30 to meet with the folks that helped my son prepare for Communion.  When we got there, the person we were to meet with was not at the chapel.  I headed up to the dorms to tell the dorm personnel that we were going to take our son out to dinner after his First Communion.  As it turns out, that is where I found the lady we were to meet with.

Unfortunately, nobody had told the dorm worker that my son was going to have First Communion, so she allowed him to take a little nap on the couch in the rec room.  They were trying to wake him up to get him ready but he wasn't cooperating.  Like a lot of us, he gets a little cranky when you wake him up.  I walked in and told him we needed to get ready for church, but he told me he didn't want to go.  I told him that if he went to church and had First Communion that we would take him to Golden Corral for dinner and had a surprise for him.  It worked.

I helped him get dressed and we headed down to the chapel.  We were still pretty early for the service, so we were pretty much the only ones around.  When the priest showed up, my son's eyes lit up and he smiled and said, "It's Father!"  He greeted all of our relatives that showed up and waited patiently.  When the head nun showed up he said "It's Sister Jeanette."  We went over and said hello to her and she told us he had been attending church regularly and was very well behaved.  That is a far cry from the first couple conversations we had with her when he first started to attend the school.

During the service he stayed pretty quiet.  He fidgeted a little now and then.  There were a couple times when he put his head on my shoulders and wanted me to stroke his head or his hands.  When it came time for him to take Communion from the priest, he hesitated at first, but took it with some encouragement.  He then said "just one more time" which got a laugh from everyone.  I know that is something he often says when you get him to do something that he doesn't want to do and are trying to get him to do it again.

After the service, we took several pictures.  He received a number of cards and money as a gift for his First Communion.  He got enough money to cover half the cost of a new basic computer for when he comes home from school for the Memorial Day weekend tomorrow.  As promised, we took him to Golden Corral for dinner after the service.  This was the first time that we had attempted to take him off campus for a visit. I was a little concerned that we would have a difficult time getting him back in the car, but there were no issues at all.

Another concern was whether or not he would eat the same variety of food with us that he has been eating at school for the past few weeks.  The concern was short lived.  He told me that he wanted chicken, ribs, potatoes, and corn.  They didn't have ribs, but I got him a plate of bourbon chicken, pot roast, corn, mashed potatoes, and fried rice.  He ate it all.  In fact, he ate a total of three big plates of food.  He also ate some sesame chicken and another style of roast beef with gravy.  The school nurse also emailed us today to tell us that he ate ice cream at school.  Another new food.

We are looking forward to our long weekend home for Memorial Day weekend.  We have plans to attend a couple of Bowie Baysox games on Sunday and Monday.  Who knows?  Maybe he will even go so far as to have a hot dog or two at the ball park.  All I know is that every day we are more and more certain that we made the right choice in having him go away to school, as difficult a choice as it was at the time.