Kinda Sad

Image via WikipediaI am sitting here tonight watching a Washington Nationals game on television.  It is the first game that I have had the opportunity to watch.  As I begin writing this, the Nationals have a 3-0 lead over the Florida Nationals.  The one thing about my son being away at school is that I actually can watch what I want on television, when I want to watch it.  When he is home, we might start watching the game, but after a few minutes, he may switch it to another channel or play a video game.

Still, with my new found freedom of being able to watch the game from start to finish if I so desire, I am feeling somewhat melancholy tonight.  It is not the fact that he is away at school that has me feeling a little bit in the dumps tonight.  While we definitely miss him around the house, his being away at school has become more the norm than the exception.  I guess I have gotten somewhat used to him being gone, if that is possible.

The reason for my feeling blue has more to do with tomorrow.  Tomorrow is my son's 17th birthday, and I will not be with him for it.  It will be the first time that I have not been with him on his birthday.  I was in the hospital room with him the night he was born, and I have been with him every year since then.  My wife will be going out to the school tomorrow to take cupcakes for his class and to take birthday presents for him to open, so at least the day will be acknowledged.

Since my son has gone away to school, I have taken more days off than I usually do.  I almost always take off to go pick him up from school for breaks and to take him back to work after the break is over.  For that reason, I did not think about taking off on his birthday.  I did not think it would bother me to miss his birthday.  I was wrong.  It is times like these that make me wish he would speak on the phone so that I could at least talk to him and wish him a happy birthday.