Long Weekend Ends, Back to School

Yesterday marked the end of the Memorial Day weekend and back to work.  It also marked the end of my son's long weekend home from school.  Normally, his visits of a mixed bag.  It is always good to have him home, but he is a lot of work.  As much as I hate to admit it, I sometimes look forward to his returning to school so things can return to what is the "new normal" around here.  Don't get me wrong, I love having him home and I am sad that he has to go back, but I am also somewhat relieved.

Due to his disabilities, there is a lot more that has to be done compared to when he is away.  When he is home, we usually have to prepare special meals for him because he would only eat certain foods.  Then there is the issue of his still not being toilet trained.  It is not easy to clean up the dirty Depends of a young man that is 5'10" and 145 pounds.  He also has a tendency to take over the television and my laptop whenever he is home.  We have had computers that he could use, but they are older and slower, and don't work too well, so he often sits with me and we play games and watch videos on mine.

As this past weekend came to a close, there was the usual sadness that he was heading back to school.  However, the sense of relief was not as strong.  Some of the past issues that make having him home so difficult were not as intense.  First, after taking him back from his April break he began eating a much wider variety of foods at school.  We were determined to try to keep up the wide variety of food that he had begun to eat at school.  We made sure to prepare a plate of whatever we were eating and give that to him first.  He ate most of what we put in front of him and we only occasionally had to supplement with chicken tenders when he hadn't gotten enough to eat.

Another thing that made this past weekend better for him was that we bought a new desktop computer for him to use.  When he had his First Communion at school nearly two weeks ago, he received over $100 in gifts.  The next morning, I found a basic computer for less than $300 that would provide him with everything he needed to do the things he likes on the computer.  This consists primarily of watching videos on YouTube and listening to music.  Only occasionally did he want to sit with me and do something together on my laptop.

There still were the other issues that we have to deal with.  His toileting is still a problem.  He usually is OK with urinating in the toilet, but the bowel movements are a problem.  We go through a lot of Depends and wipes whenever he is home.  Often, and sorry to be graphic, we have to give him a bath after a bowel movement.  Bathing is another area that he is not able to do on his own.  And of course, for the most part, when he was home the television was on whatever he wanted to watch, which isn't really that big a deal because I usually only have it on for background.

Since he turned 18, his progress once back at school has been remarkable.  In the past 6 weeks he has made a number of improvements in some of his problem areas.  Previously, he only ate chicken wings or tenders and salty snacks.  Now, he is eating a wide variety of proteins and vegetables.  He even ate ice cream, which he had never eaten, right before he came home.  He is starting to take his medications without having to have the pills crushed and mixed with food or drink.  If he continues progressing as he has recently,  I am sure that some of his other issues will be conquered soon as well.

It is funny, as my son was growing up and it was becoming painfully obvious that he would not have a "normal" life, I was determined to keep him with me as long as I could.  I have a friend that I used to work with who also has a special needs child.  We both talked about how we would want to care for our children because we weren't sure how we could trust anybody else to do it.  I no longer have that fear.  My son is 18, and at the age when a lot of kids are starting to thing of going to college and eventually getting out on their own.  Now, I can see the possibility of him moving on to a group home when school is over and I do not fear it as much as I did.

Summer Break is Over

I always get a tad melancholy whenever my son has to go back to school.  It has been 10 months since my son was accepted and the county agreed to have him attend school away from home.  While intellectually we know it is the best place for him to get an education, emotionally it still takes it toll, especially on me.

When we first began this journey, I wanted to go with him every time we took him back to school, and I wanted to go with my wife to pick him up whenever he had a scheduled break to come home.  My office was very willing to work with us to allow that to happen, however, we eventually decided that I did not need to go to pick him up.  This way, I could build up my leave in order to be able to take a family vacation like we did in August.

We soon discovered that my son was very much in tune to my normal work schedule.  He knew that it was normal for me to be home on the weekends.  He also knew it was not normal for me to be home during the work week.  Consequently, if I stayed home on a Tuesday he knew it meant he was going back to school.  He would refuse to get off the ground.  We would try tricking him by having me leave and go somewhere until my wife gave me the sign that he was in the car.

After a couple of wasted days off where we could not get him back to school, we eventually came to the decision that I would go into work on the days he went back to school and my wife would try to get him back to school on her own.  So far, that has actually worked fairly well.  She has been able to get him back to school on time, though she has had to resort to a little trickery and/or deceit to do it.

As I said, I always get a little bit down when he goes back to school.  Yesterday, however, I was moping around the office a bit more than usual.  I don't know if I was more tired than usual, which certainly could have contributed to my malaise.  The big part of it is that I did not get to say goodbye to him before he went back.  Yesterday, he was still sleeping when I left for work.  A lot of times, he is awake and I can at least tell him I will see him later, even if it is a few weeks later. 

I suppose I should dwell on the positives.  In the past 10 months we have seen some improvements that we had not seen previously, though we still have a long way to go in a lot of areas.  I could also think about how much easier it is around the house when he is at school, and how I have the freedom to watch what I want on television or do what I want on the computer because he isn't around to take those things over.  Or perhaps I feel guilty because I do think about those things.

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Chrome City Ride X-Part 2

Back on July 31st, I posted some pictures and a bit of information about the Chrome City Ride event at my son's school.  It was a really good time for everyone involved.  However, more importantly, it was a fundraiser for the school foundation.  In addition to the work at the school, they also provide for group homes for those that age out of the school and other programs for those with disabilities.

The foundation had set a goal to raise $100,000 for this year's event with part of the proceeds to go to help build two senior center homes for the aging adults with disabilities.  I received an update from the foundation that they have thus far raised $104,500 for this year's event.  I thought I would take the opportunity to post that update and share a few more of my pictures from the day.

Benefits of Chewing Gum

Image via Wikipedia

It has been a good week in the news for gum chewers.  I have read of two different studies this week about the benefits of chewing gum.

Earlier this week, a study came out that showed that chewing gum may help to reduce the craving for snacks between meals.  This would be a tremendous benefit for anybody trying to lose weight.  It is similar to another study that came out two years ago that I posted about here that stated that chewing sugar free gum could help reduce caloric intake and increase energy expenditures.

Today, I found another article that stated that chewing gum could help teenagers to increase their math scores.  This will certainly pose a dilemma for teachers and schools across the country who have always told students they can't chew gum during class.  There has been anecdotal evidence that gum chewing helps some folks stay focused on a task, and now there may be scientific evidence to that end.

There is one caveat that I would want to add about these studies.  Both studies were backed in part by the Wrigley Science Istitute.  One would think that they would have a vested interested in having a positive outcome regarding the benefits of chewing gum.  Consequently, I always tend to be a bit skeptical of some of these studies.  Isn't amazing how often the organizations backing a study manager to get their desired results?

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Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I generally don't like change.  I think most of us probably would prefer to stay in our comfort zones.  While I don't like change, I like to think that I am fairly flexible and can adapt to change fairly quickly.  Change to the routine is not something that is readily welcome in the world of the child with autism.

My son's two week break from school is just about over.  In the past, the summer session always started on July 1st.  One of our family traditions is to go to the Bowie Baysox baseball games on July 4th for the game and fireworks.  Thankfully, this year the summer session at my son's school doesn't begin until July 5th, so we will be able to take him to one more game before the session begins.

Yesterday, we received a letter from the school regarding his upcoming classroom assignments.  When he first began attending the school, he was assigned to the Pre-Vocational Class #2.  He has absolutely loved his teacher and his one-on-one aide in that classroom, and they have loved him. His new classroom assignment is the Vocational Class #1, without a one-on-one aide. 

My mother in law, who has experience with the school, says that the fact that they are moving him to Vocational Class is an indicator at how well he performed in the other classroom.  His yearbook had all of the classes grouped by their level.  They actually passed him over the Life Skills class level to put him in the Vocational Class.

On the one hand, we are pleased that he is advancing to another level in the school.  We will miss his current teacher but we are sure his new teacher will be just as caring, though we are concerned with how long it will take for him to adjust.  Our biggest concern is the lack of a one-on-one aide, as it is something we feel he really needs.

A Good Week

It is always hard on me when we take our son back to school.  I always worry about how he is doing and how he is adjusting to this change in his life.  Like a lot of autistic kids, whenever his routine is upset he has a hard time. 

Consequently, when he is away at school, I like to call to check up on his progress.  The people at the school and at the dorm are very patient about my calling on a near daily basis.  I get down whenever I hear that he has been having a difficult time.  Weekends seem to be hardest for him.

On the other hand, it gives us a great deal of comfort when we hear that he is doing well.  We took him back to school on Monday, and this has been a week of good news.  On Tuesday night when I called, he was at a social, which is one of his favorite activities in the evenings at the school.

My father in law, is on the Board of Directors of the school, and he was at a meeting at the school yesterday.  He called my wife to let her know that our son was named "Student of the Week" and would have his picture posted on the wall of the school.  Last night, my wife called the school and he had been well behaved.  He was also at another social dancing the night away.

As I said, the weekends have been the hardest for him.  He still isn't eating a whole lot of the food being offered to him.  In the past, he has also stopped drinking fluids.  The good news is that the dorm worker I spoke with on Wednesday said that he has been drinking more.  Hopefully he will continue to make progress and adjust to school.  At least the week thus far has been encouraging.

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A Bittersweet Day

If you know me personally, or if you have read any of the posts regarding my 16 year old son, then you know he means everything to me.  You also know that he is autistic and has had his share of issues. 

One of his issues has been a severe lack of attendance at school.  Whenever my wife or I try to get him to go to school, he would drop to the ground, hit, kick, and refuse to budge.  He is about 5'10" and I would say weights between 170-180 pounds.  I have to estimate because he refuses to get on a scale.  So you can see, we physically can not get him off the ground and to the car to go to school. 

For the past two years, this has been an ongoing issue.  For most of that time, we had been able to get him to go to school 2-3 days per week.  Since August, we have not been able to get him to school.  There have been a couple occasions when my wife was able to get him in the car, and he unlocked the car, opened the door, and got out of the car while it was moving.  Fortunately, he never got injured.

For several months now, we have been trying to get the school system to allow our son to go to a residential school on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.  We our familiar with this particular school because our nephew, who is also autistic, just graduated from there.  They did amazing things with him there.  It is astonishing how similar the two boys are.

Unfortunately, as much as we tried to convince the school system that the best place for our son would be the residential school, they refused to consider placing them there.  In the past few months, with the assistance of our in-laws, we have stepped up the efforts to get him the placement we felt he needed.  Several meetings and home visits later, they finally decided to recommend his placement in this school.

Here is where the bittersweet comes in.  Other than one or two nights spent at his grandparent's house, my son has never been away from both his parents.  Once he is at the new school, we will not be able to see him for five weeks so that he can adjust to his new situation.

The thought of being separated from him breaks my heart.  In my mind, I know that this is the best place for him to get the education and help he needs.  I have seen first hand the love and caring that the people at the school have for the students.  I have also seen how much they can help these kids.

The Real Reason We Work

A quick question for everybody out there; why do you work?  The answer probably depends a lot on where you are in your stage of life.  For example, when I was 15, I wanted to be able to drive when I turned 16.  My folks did not have a lot of money when we were growing up, so I was told I needed to pay for my own car, my own insurance, and my own gasoline.  So, I got a job at a local convenience store fairly close to the house about two months before my 16th birthday.

I was always a pretty decent student, and I wanted to go to college.  It was always my desire to attend the University of Maryland.  I was encouraged by my folks to attend college, but it was going to be something that I would have to pay for myself.  I did get a couple of small scholarships and grants, but it was not enough to pay for my full education.  So, I worked my way through school.  Plus I still needed cash for the car, and like most college students, I needed my beer money.

For most of my life, I have worked for the purpose of providing myself, and now my wife and son, with the things we needed.  Things like homes, clothing, food, transportation, and other essentials of life.  I also worked to provide us with things that we wanted, more the things they want these day.  But I think you get the overall picture.  I think most of you are probably like me and work for many of these same reasons.

Well, apparently I have been wrong all these years.  You see, my Congressman, House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-MD) revealed the real reason it is good for people to earn money in his weekly press briefing yesterday.  The real reason we need to work and earn money, at least according to Hoyer, is so that WE CAN PAY TAXES!  CNSNews.com quotes the congressman thus:

“We also had some good news for the first time in approximately two years. The projection of revenues has stabilized, not decreased. That is a very good sign because it is a sign that people are in fact making money and will be in a position, because they’re making money, to pay a portion of that in revenues to the federal government.”

So there you have it.  The real reason we work.  I think that gives you a pretty good idea of the Democrat mindset.  If you are like me, and the reason you work is to provide for your self and your family or you are trying to get ahead, then you have it all wrong.  In fact, you may be a conservative, a Libertarian, or God forbid, a Republican.  However, if you think the purpose of earning money is to pay taxes to the government, then you are more than likely a Democrat or a dumbass or both, just like my Congressman.

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YouTube Educational Moment

I am a big proponent of education. I am always looking to learn something new. Whenever I can find something that I think will benefit others, I want to share it with them. Below is the demonstration of a lifeskill for anyone who does their own laundry: How to Fold a Shirt.