4 Things Every Marriage Needs in Order to Survive

Human emotions can prevent people from thinking clearly when it comes to decisions regarding love and companionship. Two people will often commit to marriage without fully realizing the consequences. Although love is a strong component for keeping two people together, a good marriage needs more than that emotion. There needs to be a mutual culmination of ideas and interests.

Honest Communication

Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. Without being able to discuss things rationally with your mate, problems can continue to mount. By keeping calm and talking things out, problems that were once thought of as severe could be less likely to escalate. Once the yelling starts, however, the conversation may be over. Take time away from each other in order to calm down before discussing issues.

Equal Partnership

In today's world, sharing the responsibilities equally can resolve many issues regarding resentment or even jealousy. A marriage is a merging of two individuals. You need to be a cohesive unit to overcome many challenges that life will throw at you. You don't want to develop co-dependencies, but you need to share the decisions and be equal partners within the relationship.

The Team Mentality

When you enter a marriage, a team mentality needs to be incorporated. The two of you will be pitted against some of the toughest circumstances in life. By approaching these situations together, you can benefit from each other. Experience, knowledge, insight and more can be shared making the two of you greater together rather than alone. Many arguments can be avoided if couples would discuss important decisions together and weigh the pros and cons instead of making rash choices.

Understanding

It takes a great deal of effort to truly understand someone. However, it can reduce many problems if you take the time to get to know your mate. Emotional distress can signify that someone is unhappy with how situations are progressing. You cannot be oblivious to the feelings and wants of your mate as it can cause trouble for you.

Not every marriage is capable of surviving various complications. As long as both parties tried their best, there is nothing more to do but to file for divorce. Organizations such as Cordell & Cordell can help those that need to resolve divorce proceedings when all else fails. Find out more information by clicking here, and view the marriage as a learning experience

An Open Letter to Governor Larry Hogan

I have posted many times about the challenges that my wife and I have faced with raising a son with autism.  He has been attending his current school for a little more than 5 years now and graduates in June.  Upon graduation, we had hopes of getting him into a group home situation.  We feel this would be the best situation for him to continue the progress he has made at his school.  Whenever he comes home for a visit, he tends to regress.  For this reason, we believe that an extended stay at home after graduation would be detrimental to his continued development.

We have been working with various agencies to try to accomplish the goal of getting him funding for a group home.  A few days ago, we received a letter from the Developmental Disabilities Administration in Maryland with news.  The letter stated that our son was classified in the greatest need for funding.  That was the good news.  The bad news is that there is no funding currently available.  On the advice of his transitional coordinator at school, I have written to our Governor expressing the need for additional funding for the disabled community. 

I have posted that communication below.  Similar communications will be sent to my state Senator and Delegates.



Governor Hogan,

I voted for you in the last election, and now could use your help.  I am writing in regards to my 20 year old son who has autism.  Currently, he attends school at the Benedictine School for Exceptional Children in Ridgely, MD.  He has been a student there for the past 5 years and graduates in June.

Our hope is that he would be able to get funding to enter a residential program through DDA upon graduation.  He has been classified in the Crisis Resolution category as having the greatest need for services but that funding was not available and would have to be put on a waiting list.

Sending our son to live at the Benedictine School was one of the hardest things we ever had to do.  However, it was the best thing for our son.  He has made so much progress in their program.  Unfortunately, when he is at home, he tends to regress.  If he were to have to move home until funding is available for a residential program it would be detrimental to his well being.

Governor Hogan, it is for this reason that I write to you.  I am asking that you and the state legislature to provide adequate funding so that the DDA can provide the services that my son, and other members of the community with disabilities can get the services they need.  Thank you for your consideration.

The Differences Between Beach and Indoor Volleyball

Several people play volleyball for fun, exercise, and to make friends. Pick up games are constantly happening for interested individuals. All you need is some basic equipment from All Volleyball. Then, you can decide whether you prefer to play at the beach or indoors. Both options are fun, and many people play at both venues. However, there are key differences between beach volleyball and indoor volleyball. Before you join a game, it is important to understand how each game is played.

Balls

You need different balls to play indoors and at the beach. The indoor volleyballs are heavier and made of leather. They are designed to be more powerful and move quicker around the court. Beach volleyballs are lighter and softer than the balls used indoors. They are also a little bit bigger. The lighter weight helps the ball float in the outdoor air, and it can benefit the players in specific weather conditions.

Court Sizes

The size of the court is different for outdoor and indoor volleyball games. Indoor courts are larger, and there is a line of attack that the back row players cannot cross during the game. Beach volleyball courts are smaller, and they do not have the attack line. Instead, a player can hit the ball from anywhere on the court.

Players

Each team is allotted a specific amount of players during a volleyball game. When the game is held indoors, six players are aloud on the court at a time. All of these players have a certain position, and they usually rotate to their spots during the game. Typically, beach volleyball is played in pairs or doubles. The two players do not necessarily have positions. Instead, one stays on the left and the other stays on the right.

Scoring

Scoring is important in any game because it indicates which team wins. In volleyball, scoring can be confusing if you do not understand the rules. During indoor games, the best of five sets wins. To win a set, the team has to score 25 points first. If a fifth set is necessary, the first team to 15 points wins. Beach volleyball involves fewer sets, usually because there are more rallies. Teams play best of three. The first two sets are played to 21 points, and the last set is played to 15 points. For both indoor and outdoor volleyball, a team must win a set by two points.

These are the basic differences between beach and indoor volleyball. Now that you understand the differences, you can join a pick up game in your area. You will love meeting new friends and getting some exercise.

No Snacks For You

English: Snack Machine (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The other day, I was browsing through some of email news alerts that I subscribe to at work.  These alerts are usually related to the retail industry, with a heavy emphasis on the convenience store industry.  I was going to delete most of the emails, but one of the articles caught my eye and I had to check it out further.

The article was about a new vending machine that they have developed in Europe.  This vending machine uses facial recognition and can detect your age, build, and mood.  It will then go through a series of calculations, including past purchases, before the machine decides whether or not to allow you to complete the purchase.  So if you are stress eating your 4th Snickers bar of the day, good luck.  It also has the capability to tie into your medical records in the approval process.

This disturbs me on so many levels.  I know junk food is bad for me but sometimes I just need, no, want a Reese's Peanut Butter cup.  The machine doesn't have any idea what I have had to eat that day so how can it make an educated guess as to whether or not to sell me the product?  I might not even be buying the product for me.  Perhaps my son or a friend is with me and I am treating them to a snack.

Let's also talk about the fact that the machine has the potential to tie into my medical records.  That just blows my mind.  There are somethings that nobody should have access and medical records is one of those.  That info should only be accessible by me, my doctor, and my insurer.  I would not trust that the info would be safe from other eyes that have no business seeing it.

Of course my geeky side thinks that the technology is very neat.  However, that doesn't override in the least the objections I would have about it.  Way too much Big Brother for my liking.  I'd like to know what others think about it.  Would you want a soulless machine to deny you a snack because it doesn't like the look on your face when you try to make the purchase or would you like a machine making decisions for you?

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The Office Christmas Party

Christmas in the post-War United States (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I really feel bad that I have neglected this blog for so long.  I am making it my goal to try to keep this updated a couple times a week starting with this post.

Today was the day for my office Christmas party.  It wasn't going to be a major affair.  Just lunch and for those that wanted to participate some games and a gift exchange.  Typically, I do not look forward to these affairs.  My plan was to go to the party, sit with a couple friends, grab a bite to eat, and quietly watch the festivities.

I consider myself to be quite the introvert.  So much so that if you look it up in the dictionary you just might find my picture.  As an introvert, I tend to dislike being put in social situations that make me uncomfortable or anxious.  Even at church, I hate the dreaded "greet your neighbor" portion of the service.  Today ended up being one of those situations.  When I get forced into one of those situations, I tend to withdraw and am easily agitated.

It takes me a while to get comfortable around most people.  Once I do, I can be very friendly and talkative.  Until I reach that point, however, I tend to clam up and not say a whole lot.  When I arrived at the party today, I was handed a label with a picture from a Christmas movie.  I was told that there was assigned seating and we had to sit at the table that corresponded to the label I was given.  The idea was to force people to mingle with people that they wouldn't normally sit with.  That was strike one.

Normally, I get to the office pretty early, usually an hour and a half to two hours before everyone else arrives.  Since I get to work so early, I also eat lunch earlier than most, usually around noon.  Today's party was supposed to start around 1 pm so I was already hungry when I arrived.  It took a while for everyone to arrive.  Then there were the speeches from the bosses.  They didn't want everybody to flood the small buffet line, so they sent one table at a time to the line.  So even though my table was closest to the buffet line, we went last.  It was nearly 2 pm before we got to the line. Strike two.

I grabbed a paper plate and plastic cutlery and got in line.  Whoever was responsible for ordering the food didn't do a very good job.  When I got to the front of the line, there wasn't a whole lot to choose from.  The vegetables did not look appetizing at all.  The ham looked very dry, and you really couldn't get anything from it as all the slices were gone and there was nobody to slice more and no knife to cut it.  The chicken was gone.  That was strike three for me.  I left without eating, went back to my desk, and finished up my day.

From what I hear, I didn't miss a whole lot.  My best friend in the office told me the food wasn't very good.  And my observation about the ham being dry was accurate.  I wish that I could feel more comfortable in these situations.  Unfortunately, like Popeye, "I yam what I yam."  Even to this day, after 23 years of marriage to my wife, I still am uncomfortable when all her aunts, uncles, and cousins are at events.  I'd say maybe someday, but I doubt it.

Easy Tips for Home Safety

Burglaries are one of the most common crimes in America with one occurring approximately every 15 seconds. However, a homeowner can do much to decrease intruders' interest in the home, to make the home difficult to break into, and to keep people and belongings safe should a break-in occur. Each of these tips is easy and inexpensive to implement.

First, homeowners must beware of leaving certain items outside that unintentionally lure intruders onto the premises. For example, burglars are attracted to expensive items on the property, such as scooters, bicycles, lawnmowers and power tools that are outside and easy to steal. Having motion detector lights installed around key entry points such as the garage or using landscaping lights around trees and bushes will make intruders less likely to creep around the house.

Second, homeowners must take special care to secure their property when on vacation. Timers can turn lights, radios and televisions each day at specified times. A trusted neighbor should be notified to keep a watchful eye on the premises when the homeowner is going out of town. In addition, vacationers should have their mail put on hold.

Thirdly, homeowners can make it difficult for burglars to get into their homes should they make it onto the property. Of course, keeping doors and windows locked when away and at night is a necessity. Outside doors and doors between the house and the garage should be installed with steel deadbolts and strike plates. Sliding patio doors can be easily lifted from their tracks by burglars; therefore, these should be secured with strong rods or dowels in the tracks as well as locks.

Finally, homeowners should use a home security system and have it monitored by a reputable company, such as Alarm Relay. These systems will notify the alarm Monitoring company if a door or window is breached or if motion is detected; these systems can also monitor for smoke or fire. The company will then notify police or the fire department in case of emergencies.

Homeowners can take a variety of easy steps to secure their properties from intruders and burglars. Making sure that doors and windows are locked each day is just the first step in home safety. Security monitoring companies help in this endeavor by having dispatchers on alert 24 hours a day to notify the authorities in case of a problem.

Crying Wolf...or in this case Racism

I confess.  I am a white man who grew up in America.  I make no apologies for it.  The reason I bring up my race is that I had a little run in on Facebook recently with one of my friends, who happens to be an African-American woman, who I went to high school with.  If you have read this blog before, then you know that I am a dyed in the wool conservative.  My former classmate, a liberal.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that my former classmate and I were close friends back in high school, but it was cordial.  We reconnected a few years ago on Facebook.  I can't recall who sent the initial friend request through Facebook, but needless to say we did reconnect.  The last time that I saw here was at the funeral of our mutual friend David Mills, who was also an African American liberal, not that it matters.

Our little run in occurred when she posted a link on Facebook with the headline "Rick Perry Refuses Obama's Offer For A Tarmac Handshake" that was on the liberal website Huffington Post.  Along with the link to the article were her comments of "So disrespectful. So racist."  That is where I took offense.

Ever since Barack Obama became president, it has become fashionable to label anybody who disagrees with him or gives him any sort of slight, it is automatically labeled "racist."  After a while, you get tired of hearing that same, tired, baseless attack.  Usually, I ignore liberal Facebook postings that I disagree with.  This time, I made a comment.  Perhaps, I should have stuck with my policy of ignoring those posts.

Essentially, I told my friend that I was disappointed that she decided to pull the "racist" card out of the bag.  Needless to say, she was not happy with my response.  I won't bore you with everything she responded with, but basically attacked me as a white man who would not understand what she experiences as a black woman.

To a degree, she is right.  I do not know what it is like to be a black woman, or a black man for that matter.  That does not mean that I do not understand what it is like or that I haven't experience racism myself.  I have witnessed racism in all its ugliness and I have been on the receiving end of racism when growing up.

When I was in elementary school, we were given the opportunity to bring music that we liked into the classroom to share with our classmates.  I brought in a record from the Disney movie "Dumbo" because I liked the song from the video below.

Several of my classmates mocked me and gave me a hard time because I brought in a record that was performed by some sort of derogatory term for African Americans.  I was quite hurt.

A few years later, I was an overweight, 4-eyed white kid in a school with a large African American student body.  I was left out of a lot of recess activities because I didn't "fit in."  Eventually, I was able to show that I could hang with the more athletic peers on the field of battle as it were and earn a level of respect.

I would be naive to think that racism doesn't still exist with some people.  People as a whole are fallen, sinful individuals, and nothing is going to change that.  Unfortunately, in the Barack Obama age, society has become like the proverbial boy who cried wolf.  The more people cry racism where it doesn't truly exist, the more likely people won't react when it really does.

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